Why is Loving So Hard?

"...But I don't want to."

"...I don't feel like it."

"I'm scared, what will I say, what will I do. How will they react, what if they get mad?"

"It's not going to make a difference anyways and I probably won't even find anybody."

"...It's cold outside"

"I think I should take a nap"

"LORD why is it so hard to LOVE?!?" I feel a direct tug on my heart for the homeless. I also don't FEEL like doing anything about that, especially when I know that 'today' is a good day to go out. Even though I know that joy will accompany my weak attempts at empathy.

On Sunday I decided to fill my back-pack with mitts and toques purchased from Steinbach's MCC thrift store and then give them out to whomever I could find in need. It took me about 2 hours of humming and hawing before I finally went out... I had a wonderful time! But why is it so hard to go?!? Why is it so hard to love? or perhaps a better question is, why are some people so hard to love? I have no problem loving my friends. If I found out a friend of mine was outside in the cold of winter without somewhere to stay and without proper clothing; it would not take me two hours to go and help them!

And yet every time on my way home I tell myself, "I should do this everyday!"

I thought of giving this post the title, "Socks, yes, and underwear too please." That is what the lady at the Main St. Program (where my wonderful walk took me) told me when I gave her all the mitts and toques. Since I never gave any out to individuals on my pleasant journey there I felt it was a practical place to drop them off. On my way there I passed a homeless man who was walking very slowly. It looked like he was trying to bunch his toes up inside of his worn-out shoes. I realized his feet must have been freezing. I didn't buy any socks at MCC, it never crossed my mind. So I smiled and said 'hi' cheerfully as I passed him in my comfy winter boots. The encounter led to me asking the lady at the Program if they needed socks. "Socks, yes, and underwear too please," she responded. Apparently when the homeless come in for a shower they don't have any clean underwear so they either keep wearing their dirty pair or go without.

On that note I am accepting donations of clean socks and underwear. I also have a full bag of donated items that I have yet to deliver to those in need (much thanks for that! by the way).

I'm beginning to wonder if love is one of the most difficult things to give.

-Trenton.