Mercy Triumphs Over Judgment: Encouragement To Love Our Homosexual Neighbours

Judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgement. -James 2:13

For a long time I have been scared to publicly address the subject of homosexuality because I am scared of hurting people with my opinion. This subject is so touchy exactly because each person's sexuality is very vulnerable and powerful, but also very spiritual, at the same time. It seems to touch our core. I have been scared to cause offence. So this blog post is essentially an act of repentance for allowing fear to silence me. I have homosexual friends and family. I want them to know that I love them, even if I disagree with them. I am sorry for when I have not loved them. But even more I want them to know Jesus! That Jesus will fight for them ferociously. That Jesus is beautiful and glorious and dazzling in the might of his splendour even as he laid down his life to free us from sin and death.

I believe there is a significant difference between someone who struggles with same sex attraction and someone who embraces it and lives it. I also believe that any distinction between homosexual sin and heterosexual sin can be a false distinction. Categories do not necessarily help us since many heterosexuals are engrossed in far worse sexual sins than we might care to imagine. And many with same sex attraction live in victory over their sinful desires. The truth is we all need the blood of Jesus to wash us clean. Even though all of us are in equal need of salvation from our sins, not all of our sins have equal consequences. There is something unique about sexual sin (1 Corinthians 6:18). One reason homosexuality has received far more attention from the church is because there are those within the church who espouse it. If lifestyles such as common-law living were being espoused in the church, those lifestyles would receive lots of attention too.

I believe that in two very different ways many Christians have been unloving towards homosexuals. First, homosexuals have not been accepted by Christians. And second, yet quite differently, homosexuals have been told by Christians that homosexuality is good, normal and legitimate. I believe both actions are wrong and devastating. That is why I want to address them. As Dietrich Bonhoeffer said, "Silence in the face of evil is itself evil."

What Do I Mean by Acceptance?

I realize that by using the term 'acceptance' I may cause confusion. What I mean is that God accepts us even though we are all sinners, even before we repent. The Bible teaches that while we were still enemies of God, Jesus died for our sins (Romans 5:8). It is God's acceptance of us that allows us to repent in the first place. Except by the grace of God no one can turn from their sins. None of us imagines that being accepted by God means that God declares our sin to be good, normal or legitimate. Therefore, for a Christian to accept someone they do not need to agree with them. They do not need to say, "You are already perfect, just as you are." Being accepted by God means that he will forgive us if we turn to him. The Christian must adopt a similar attitude of acceptance towards all people, whether they show signs of repentance for sin or not. Truthfully, I find this difficult. I believe it comes down to motivation. Whenever I am interacting or relating with anyone are my words, attitude and motivation based on an eager desire to see the other person draw nearer to God? Or are my words, attitude and motivation based more on fear, or aversion and thus do I inadvertently push the other person away, thereby not accepting them as Jesus does. The reason this is devastating is simple. If you receive condemnation you are shamed. If you receive acceptance you can heal. Every single person who has ever been set free from sexual addiction, of any sort, had to deal with their shame before they could be helped. You will not find someone who found freedom because they were shamed. Rather, those who find acceptance are those who find freedom and healing. The lack of acceptance in our churches for homosexuals has been devastating. Again, I am not saying this is easy, but if homosexuals cannot find acceptance in the church they will look for it elsewhere.

Why Homosexuality is Not Good, Normal and Legitimate

The primary motivations for Christians to say that homosexuality is good, normal and legitimate are, I believe, based upon lies. As harsh as that sounds please allow me to explain each point I make.

Lie #1: I am a born-again, Bible-believing Christian, and I am gay. Therefore, homosexuality is good, normal and legitimate.

Truth: Your identity in Christ is not 'gay'. You may feel a sexual attraction to the same-sex but that does not require self-identifying with it. If all of us did this consistently then we would also self-identify as thieves, liars and adulterers because we all face temptation in these areas.

Lie #2: I was born this way.

Truth: We were all born with sinful desires. If we suggest that being born with sinful inclinations makes them good or normal or legitimate then to be consistent we must say that all of our other sinful inclinations are good too. Jesus has overcome our sin, even though we were all born with sin.

Lie #3: Who am I to deny love? If two people love each other, it must be good.

Truth: If this is true, then with the same reasoning adultery must be good too because it is between two people who 'love' each other. The truth is that two people can love each other and be sinning because their love crosses a God ordained boundary.

Lie #4: To tell someone about their sin is condemning. It is the Holy Spirit's job to convict people of their sin.

Truth: This depends on the motivation. If this were necessarily true then Jesus was constantly condemning for he was constantly telling people to repent of their sins. It is completely possible to tell someone about their sin because you love them and care about them and to do so in a manner that is loving and caring. On the other hand, to choose to be silent when the LORD asks us to speak is disobedient and unloving.

The reason it is devastating to say that homosexuality is good, normal and legitimate is also simple. It is because homosexuality is not good, normal and legitimate. It is a lie. It is a lie that keeps people in their sin instead of allowing them to turn away from their sin. There is this idea we have that asking someone to repent is bad and staying in our sins is good. But the life which Jesus purchased for us on the cross is far better and far more wonderful than a life of sin and death and if we understood that we would never wish it upon anybody for them to stay in their sin. It is comparable to wishing for somebody to stay blind when we could give them sight or for somebody to eat mud when we could offer them fresh bread. If we have tasted the freedom and the joy and the peace of life in Jesus, the most beautiful and wonderful person, why would we ever wish to keep even our worst enemies from the same? 

Closing Thoughts

 Some Christians have been motivated by fear and guilt. Perhaps they have experienced same-sex attraction themselves, even though they knew they were saved. They did not know where to turn for help. They felt ashamed, scared and helpless as the feelings grew over time. They may have felt tempted to compromise between opposing realities they felt warring within their own minds. Somehow there is a loving God who has saved them, even while they experience feelings and thoughts they always believed were wrong. I know that there is healing in Jesus for all of this. If this is you, I encourage you, take heart! Our God is mighty and able. His arm is not too short to save you and his sight is not too weak to see you. He absolutely delights in saving the weak and the lowly and the downcast. My God has delivered me and I know he can deliver you!

These things are difficult. It is not easy to love. It is far easier to be unloving. Jesus Christ went to the cross to save us and he told us that we must also take up our crosses and follow him. When we fail, we confess our sin as sin, start fresh and keep going. We keep going because Jesus is absolutely worth it. He is worth everything!